Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Note to the fellas – providing criticism isn’t always helpful or appreciated

So, I woke up this morning to this email from Eric, in Yosemite:

“Wendy,
 You are my singled out for today. Thought I would share a few comments on your pics. The first one is sorta nice. The second one with you sitting is great! Really great! The third one is a total waste, as it shows nothing about you other than you don't do the self pic thing well. And the last pic is just - okay. I'm sending this because I like your look and reading your profile, but that self pic just ruins it for me. 
Eric”

Gee, thanks. So I was left with three thoughts:

1. How does he like my “look” if he doesn’t like 3 of the 4 photos?

2. The ones that were “sorta nice” and “just okay” are professional shots – which tells me I’m mediocre at best. Thanks Eric, probably why I’m still single.

3. The self pic is my only body shot. It was no use to him was all I needed to know. I’m not his type.

My response? Ordinarily, I’d be able to take this in stride (as I have dozens of times before), but at this point… fuck it, I’m out. I took down my profile altogether – I quit. I can’t take it anymore. It’s Just Lunch can fetch me the remaining four dates to get to 101.

Pay attention men – criticism to a woman is a totally different experience than when you are criticized. We always take what’s said straight to the heart – regardless of the source.

p.s. this is a photo of Eric from his profile.

About Me

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San Francisco, CA, United States
Who am I? I am a retired dater. I sifted through the thousands of "matches" online; met strangers for coffee, a drink or a meal when really, mostly I wanted to be napping.

On the good dates, I loved the adventure and the thrill of not knowing how it would all turn out. The daydream of a possible shared future with this human.

On the bad dates, I was willing to take one for the team – for you - for your enlightenment and entertainment.

Through my trials and tribulations, self-expression and willingness to reveal raw human experiences and vulnerabilities, this blog was created.

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