His Age: 47
His City: Two (Oakland and Wine Country)
Setting: Brick and Bottle - Corte Madera
So "It's Just Lunch" (IJL) has this policy, where they set you up on the date by making a reservation at a restaurant with both of your first names only. The staff are instructed to bring separate checks, so dates pay dutch, and no one knows anyone's name, to cut back on the stalking opportunities if you're not a match. The whole dual-name reservation scheme is brilliant! One doesn't have to look for the other at the bar, and make mistakes with strangers. This policy is also awesome since IJL doesn't let you see your date prior to the actual date itself.
I arrive at the hostess table (do we still call them hostess tables?). "Hi, I have a reservation for Wendy & Ken."
"He's here. This way, please."
I'm one minute late, so I'm not surprised. As I stroll behind the host, I can see I'm being led to the back, where there are three empty tables, and one table with a single man, waiting for company. He's at least 68 years of age, seriously overweight, glasses, red-faced, and jowly. Okay... here we go again!
As the host spread open his palm in that "Vanna White" arm-sweep, guiding me toward the table, I asked, "Ken?"
"No!" the single man said.
The host swiftly put me at a single table right next to him, and apologized softly to me for the mistake.
I pretended to read the wine list while I waited...
Moments later a handsome man approaches my table apologizing for being late. I thought we were having drinks, but before I knew it - after a quick confirmation that I drink wine and eat appetizers - he'd ordered a bottle of wine, and food. We settled in quickly, covering topics taboo to first dates. Once hearing I'm from Utah, he wanted to know if I was Mormon and began to discuss religion. He pressed what happened in my divorce and shared with me his divorce story. And we talked about discussing politics since this would be three of three, but then we got busy talking about other things.
He's handsome, but he's not my typical type. I'm intrigued. I think we can have a lot of fun together. And there's something to him - he could give me a real run for my money, I think.
He broke the rules and picked up the tab. (He's a rebel that way.) He asked for my number, and I happily provided it. Before I got out of the parking lot, I got a text thanking me for a great night. Thank you, IJL. You did me right!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Date #89 - Match Made By Blind Chimps
His Age: 57
His City: San Carlos
Setting: Palomino - San Francisco
My very first "It's Just Lunch" (IJL) date was late - and it was nerve-racking.
It's Just Lunch doesn't allow their members to see each other before the date. This is a totally stupid policy. I've spent 9 years talking to men about women through PAX and one thing I am super clear about is that men are visual. While sometimes men can grow on us, we women (mostly) don't grow on them - we're it or we're not.
Now, I know I'm a particular flavor, and I'm not everyone's flavor. You might even say I'm a bit of an odd flavor. Even so, I've been assured by the experts at IJL that they are professional matchmakers who take this very seriously, and match based on type. You can see their precision by reading the previous entry.
So I'm waiting.... First, I see the 6' tall man with a white ponytail to the middle of his back. Not him. Next, a handsome older man who is quickly joined by two women in their 50s. Another gentleman comes but joins a party shortly afterward. And as I'm about to be seated, #89 is at my side. Swiftly we're taken to a private booth table overlooking the Bay Bridge. I'm not his type; I know it in five seconds.
Never - on any date - have I ever been so mismatched.
Not being his type is actually a relief to me, and allows me to enjoy a lunch I'll now be stuck at for the next two hours.
My date is not a hip, Jerry Seinfeld 57 - no. He's a very old 57, and looks like a Mormon bishop, or a Republican Senator, or a conservative radio talk-show host from the Midwest. His jowly, red face is fairly expressionless through the entire event. He doesn't speak much and asks me no questions, which is always awesome. So I do double-duty probing for topics he'll engage in, while holding up both sides of the conversation. He doesn't bother to afford me the one kindness of ending the date quickly, and has a leisurely lunch of soup and half-sandwich as he watches me do all the heavy lifting.
Second date? I don't think so.
Underwhelmed.
His City: San Carlos
Setting: Palomino - San Francisco
My very first "It's Just Lunch" (IJL) date was late - and it was nerve-racking.
It's Just Lunch doesn't allow their members to see each other before the date. This is a totally stupid policy. I've spent 9 years talking to men about women through PAX and one thing I am super clear about is that men are visual. While sometimes men can grow on us, we women (mostly) don't grow on them - we're it or we're not.
Now, I know I'm a particular flavor, and I'm not everyone's flavor. You might even say I'm a bit of an odd flavor. Even so, I've been assured by the experts at IJL that they are professional matchmakers who take this very seriously, and match based on type. You can see their precision by reading the previous entry.
So I'm waiting.... First, I see the 6' tall man with a white ponytail to the middle of his back. Not him. Next, a handsome older man who is quickly joined by two women in their 50s. Another gentleman comes but joins a party shortly afterward. And as I'm about to be seated, #89 is at my side. Swiftly we're taken to a private booth table overlooking the Bay Bridge. I'm not his type; I know it in five seconds.
Never - on any date - have I ever been so mismatched.
Not being his type is actually a relief to me, and allows me to enjoy a lunch I'll now be stuck at for the next two hours.
My date is not a hip, Jerry Seinfeld 57 - no. He's a very old 57, and looks like a Mormon bishop, or a Republican Senator, or a conservative radio talk-show host from the Midwest. His jowly, red face is fairly expressionless through the entire event. He doesn't speak much and asks me no questions, which is always awesome. So I do double-duty probing for topics he'll engage in, while holding up both sides of the conversation. He doesn't bother to afford me the one kindness of ending the date quickly, and has a leisurely lunch of soup and half-sandwich as he watches me do all the heavy lifting.
Second date? I don't think so.
Underwhelmed.
It's Just A Drag
I'm wondering how easily I can get out of my "It's Just Lunch" matchmaking services contract. I joined just over a month ago, for a six-month membership. Big bucks were paid, so I thought I could have expectations and demands above what I was asking on Match.com. I had a wish list of three things.
1) he lives 30 minutes from my house
2) he's between 47-54
3) he's at least 6' tall
I know, I know, I don't want any grief from any of you about the height thing. I'm not small, and I like wearing 7" heels. If I really got to have it all my way he'd be at least 6'3" but we're in California, not the Rockies, so I'm flexible (obviously).
Week 1: nothing.
Week 2: "Hey Wendy, this is Sarah from It's Just Lunch. We have a date for you. We think he's perfect. He lives in San Jose [nearly two hours from my house], he's 56, and is 5'11"."
"Um... no."
Week 3: "Hey Wendy, it's Sarah. Okay, we got you someone. He's 37, lives in Walnut Creek [suburbs an hour and a half from my house], loves to play golf, and is 5'10".
"Um... no."
Week 4: "Hey Wendy, Sarah again. Okay, he's 43, 5'10", lives in Moraga" (an hour and a half from my house).
"Sarah, I'm gonna stop you right there. Here's the deal. You're striking out three out of three on every man you've given me. Are you telling me that It's Just Lunch doesn't have a single man over the age of 47 in San Francisco? I'm gonna pass again, and I'm hoping you can at least hit one of my requirements. This is a matchmaking service, yes?
"Hi Wendy, I have someone really great for you. He's 57, lives in San Carlos [an hour from my house], and is 6' tall."
What I said: "Fine Sarah, set it up."
What I wished I'd said: "Fine Sarah, fucking fine. I'm saying yes because you've worn me down."
1) he lives 30 minutes from my house
2) he's between 47-54
3) he's at least 6' tall
I know, I know, I don't want any grief from any of you about the height thing. I'm not small, and I like wearing 7" heels. If I really got to have it all my way he'd be at least 6'3" but we're in California, not the Rockies, so I'm flexible (obviously).
Week 1: nothing.
Week 2: "Hey Wendy, this is Sarah from It's Just Lunch. We have a date for you. We think he's perfect. He lives in San Jose [nearly two hours from my house], he's 56, and is 5'11"."
"Um... no."
Week 3: "Hey Wendy, it's Sarah. Okay, we got you someone. He's 37, lives in Walnut Creek [suburbs an hour and a half from my house], loves to play golf, and is 5'10".
"Um... no."
Week 4: "Hey Wendy, Sarah again. Okay, he's 43, 5'10", lives in Moraga" (an hour and a half from my house).
"Sarah, I'm gonna stop you right there. Here's the deal. You're striking out three out of three on every man you've given me. Are you telling me that It's Just Lunch doesn't have a single man over the age of 47 in San Francisco? I'm gonna pass again, and I'm hoping you can at least hit one of my requirements. This is a matchmaking service, yes?
"Hi Wendy, I have someone really great for you. He's 57, lives in San Carlos [an hour from my house], and is 6' tall."
What I said: "Fine Sarah, set it up."
What I wished I'd said: "Fine Sarah, fucking fine. I'm saying yes because you've worn me down."
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About Me
- Wendy
- San Francisco, CA, United States
- Who am I? I am a retired dater. I sifted through the thousands of "matches" online; met strangers for coffee, a drink or a meal when really, mostly I wanted to be napping.
On the good dates, I loved the adventure and the thrill of not knowing how it would all turn out. The daydream of a possible shared future with this human.
On the bad dates, I was willing to take one for the team – for you - for your enlightenment and entertainment.
Through my trials and tribulations, self-expression and willingness to reveal raw human experiences and vulnerabilities, this blog was created.